


death and deals

by ZPumpkin



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beaujester Week, Brief character death, Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Resurrection, Spoilers, Swearing, campaign one call backs, some blood, technically spoilers i dont give too much away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 01:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20017735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZPumpkin/pseuds/ZPumpkin
Summary: Nothing spurs spilling your emotions like a death, Beau's found. Doesn't mean she's good at handling it.For day 4 of Beaujester week.





	death and deals

_We need the money_ Beau repeats in her head, adding an extra mocking edge to Caleb’s voice. _Twenty thousand for one kill_ , sure, one fucking kill, what was there to lose. 

Their one kill is a flying head with teeth the length of Beau’s arm and a dozen eyes that shoot random fucking lasers, one of which flung Beau across the room at the very start of this shitshow. There’s a pointy rock buried somewhere under her shoulder blade still, which makes punching real fun. Fjord’s joined her on the front line of this thing, since literally nowhere is safe from it and it doesn’t bite all that often, but half of his body is turning a weird grey and she hears the shift of stone everytime he swings.

Every so often Beau feels lacking when all she can do is hit and run, but seeing Fjord turn into stone right next to her is making it painfully obvious how limited she is. All she can do is punch this thing in its big, bloodshot center eye and hope it somehow stops the spell on Fjord.

Jester runs passed them and touches a hand to Fjord’s stony shoulder and in a flash of pink the rest of it shakes off him like dust. Then she’s off, running for cover, and the eye monster glances after her for a moment. Beau uses the opportunity to sink her fist inches deep into the back of its… hide, head, body. She feels something hard and slimy inside and starts tugging.

It screams and whips around to try to face Beau, but she’s got a grip in it and goes whirling around with the movement, her shoulder wrenching painfully in its socket. It keeps spinning, howling insults in Deep Speech as rays go flying everywhere. A piece of the cavern explodes over Nott and she goes running for cover. Some green thing hits Beau and for a moment she sees pieces of her body turn to dust before she tenses and pushes the creeping nothingness away. Caleb yelps and flies into the ceiling, staring down at Beau while she’s being tossed about like a dog toy.

She feels something give inside the monster and gets flung away, tumbling across the stone until she smashes into a rock. In her hand is a broken piece of spine, dripping purple-black blood. The monster collapses in on itself, gurgling as all its eyes flop down and go blank. 

“I don’t like it,” Beau announces to the room and tosses the spine away from her. Then Caleb falls on her and knocks the breath from them both. “Hi,” she wheezes.

“Hello Beauregard,” Caleb replies and rolls off her chest. “That was a Beholder, in case you were wondering. Ikithon kept a model of one in his office. It’s much scarier in person.”

“Think we can argue for a raise?” Fjord asks from where he’s slumped against the wall, brushing the last of the stone dust from his body. Caleb makes a maybe gesture.

Then Nott screams “Jester!” and the air leaves the room. Beau scrambles to her feet and sprints to where the voice came from, behind a crop of stalagmites, and nearly trips over the goblin’s body. Nott’s hunched over a very still, very pale blue body.

Jester’s on the floor, eyes glassy and staring at nothing, and try as she might Beau can’t deny the obvious; she’s dead.

“What the fuck,” Beau says, and her voice seems distant, her hands feel far away, she’s stuck in the back of her head and being smothered by hot, bright panic. “What happened, the fuck, Nott what-”

“I don’t know!” Nott screeches, her claws digging into her cheeks while her eyes dart around the gathering group. “She was fine and then something hit her and she just fell! I tried a healing potion but I don’t know!”

She keeps screeching, incoherently shrill, as Caduceus picks her up and puts her near a stock-still Caleb. He then kneels down and closes Jester’s eyes and Beau wants to kill him in a sudden rush because that’s final, that’s what you do when someone’s gone forever, it’s what they did for Molly long ago, fuck him _she’s not gone._

He pulls out a large diamond and the anger leaves her in a gasp. “We can bring her back,” Caduceus says, voice steady but deeper than normal. “It won’t be easy for her, so we have to give something to ease her path.”

Caleb opens his mouth but Beau cuts him off, blurting, “Anything.”

“Is there anything,” Caleb says, glancing at Beau, “particular that would help?”

“Words, if you feel you can convince her or the gods,” Caduceus says as he scrawls arching Celestial symbols around Jester’s body. “Items of worth, personal or magical, to bargain with. Whatever you feel would allow Jester to return to us.” He pauses in his writing and looks up at them. “You all have known her longer than I have, but I have something I would like to say for her, if you would allow me?”

Everyone nods but Beau, whose body feels locked in place, like Dairon hit every pressure point all at once. She can feel her bones vibrating under her muscles but she can’t even blink. This could work, but the way Caduceus describes it it might not. Her eyes burn from drying out or tears building. When Caleb puts a hand on her shoulder she flinches violently, but she can move again, and Caleb gives her an understanding look.

Caduceus needs time to prepare the ritual, so they scatter about to make themselves useful. Fjord and Nott try to search the room but spend more time watching Caduceus work. Caleb pokes at the Beholder like he might try to harvest its eyes or something. Beau wanders around the room, runs her fingers over the hard walls, walks outside for a minute before running back in because _Jester’s in there don’t leave her_. Finally, near buzzing out of her skin with energy and nerves, she grabs a dagger and plunges it into the meat of the monster, pulling and carving and tearing it _how fucking dare it hurt Jester, take Jester from them, from her_.

No one stops her. Caleb just watches until she’s burned the energy on mutilating it, and he starts wiping the blood and gore from her face. 

“How long?” he asks. Beau hums, confused and exhausted. “How long have you loved her?”

She jerks under his hand and tries to glare at him, but he meets her eyes nonplussed. “What are you talking about?”

“I think we have all noticed how much attention you give her,” Caleb says. “I thought it was you trying to be better, at first. But it’s different with Jester, isn’t it?” Beau makes a low noise in her throat, but there’s not a lot left in her to lie. “I know what profound loss feels like, Beauregard. I see it in your eyes right now.” He finishes cleaning her face and puts two waterskins in her hands. “Left is water, right is booze,” he says with a half-hearted, familiar grin. 

Beau chugs the booze. When Caduceus says it’s ready, the swell of panic makes it rush back up her throat and she darts to the entrance to empty her stomach.

They gather around Jester, careful of the chalk lines all around her. Caduceus has positioned her body so she doesn’t look like she’d just been murdered, eyes closed and hands over her chest. Beau can’t stand to look at her body so motionless, and can’t bear to take her eyes off Jester in case she wakes up. Even in sleep, Jester is moving, tossing and turning, knocking her horns against things.

Caduceus kneels at her side. He looks about them all, and when no one moves to stop him he puts his hands on top of Jester’s folded hands. “You brought me back once before,” he says, and Nott shuffles behind Caleb. “You were clever and wise enough to save your powers in case you had to save someone. You beseeched the Wildmother though you had no knowledge of her beyond my faith. Now it is my turn. Traveler, your greatest follower needs you now, just as her family needs her always. Do not let this light burn out of the world.”

There’s a flash and a third of the chalk lights up, emerald green and candy pink swirling together. Caduceus nods and stands, making room for someone else.

The rest look among each other, waiting to see who is more sure of themselves, who’s willing to risk failure, but Beau can’t look away still. Her nails dig into her arms and she holds herself as still as Jester is. Finally Nott steps up, pushing her handful of dry flowers into Jester’s hair.

“We came for you when you were taken away,” Nott says, “and you said we had a choice not to. And, that was kinda really insulting, Jester. There was never a choice. Family comes for each other, no matter what’s in the way.” She sniffles and pulls out a ripped-out page of Jester’s journal, a picture of Luc, Yeza, and Veth hugging in the Lavish Chateau. Rather obviously added by Nott are scribbles of figures, sort of in the shape of their party, with a little purple shape hovering over them. She puts it under Jester’s hands. “You’re part of my family now, so if you don’t come back I’m gonna have to go into some shitty afterlife and rescue you again.”

Another third lights up a soft brown, the color of Veth’s eyes, and Nott moves away to clutch at Caleb’s hand. Caleb puts his other hand on Beau’s shoulder. She glances aside at him, and he gently pushes at her to go forwards. 

But Beau’s locked in place, heart thudding through her ribs, the blood roaring in her ears. She can feel her pulse in her eyes, how fucked is that. In her head are old voices, _you’re never enough, why can’t you do anything right, you ruin everything_. Then Fjord’s hand is on her other shoulder.

“Beau,” Fjord says, “she’d want to hear from you too.”

Now she looks about the group, and every face is looking back, expecting. She feels an embarrassed flush, realizing that she’s been so obvious even Fjord, who has the self awareness of a brick most times, noticed.

“She’s crushing on you,” Beau argues, even if the reminder bites into her heart.

Fjord smiles weakly and shakes his head.

They’re putting this last one on her, but what the fuck is Beau meant to say to get Jester back? What the fuck can she offer but her bloody clothes and a good punch. But the choice is she goes or the ritual ends partially completed, and that’s riskier than Beau fucking up, probably, so she steps forward to sit by Jester’s side.

She fiddles with her bracers, thinks to give them up, but those aren’t worth enough. She has roughly 13 thousand gold in her personal funds but that’s not enough either. Her words are worth even less than that. The panic’s back, and the deep clutching weight of failure, good old friend that is. _Don’t fuck this up, for once in your damn life don’t do the wrong thing at the wrong time._

Beau says, “Take me instead,” and hears the gasps and shocked noises from her friends before time stops. Literally. There’s a mote of dust in the air that just stops in place, and the sound of breathing is gone. Beau’s own heart is frozen mid beat, which is a fucking weird sensation.

Opposite her, sitting next to Jester’s other side, is a man in a green cloak that hides everything but a soft smile. The smell of sweets, paints, and deep forest fills the air that Beau can’t breathe because time isn’t happening right now.

“That’s quite an offer,” the man says. “Though not unusual for you, from what Jester has told me. I have to wonder how genuine it is?”

“Fucking kill me and see, then,” Beau responds, though her mouth doesn’t move. This is probably happening in her head. Or magical weirdness. 

There’s a flash and a long, glittering blade is pressed into her throat, hard enough to draw blood. Even though she has no pulse there’s a burning rush of pain and instinctual fear. Beau pushes it away and leans into the edge so it cuts slowly deeper, waiting for him to finish this fuckery so Jester can be back.

The truth of the matter is Beau would die for all of them and hope to come back to beat them over the head for it. For Jester, she’ll die and stay dead and beg to maybe just watch her sometimes.

The blade vanishes and the man’s smile turns sharp and proud. “I wouldn’t do that to her, of course.” He stands and brushes his cloak off. “She would never forgive me, for one, and…” He looks about at the time-frozen group, then grabs Beau’s chin to tip her head up so they’re face to face. “Well, I do love a good romance.”

With a distant laugh time resumes and Beau breathes in deep, feels the hot wet blood leaking from a sudden cut in her neck. That… happened? 

Then Jester gasps under her and in the rush of bodies clumping together, tears and snot rubbing into clothes and desperate, relieved laughter, Beau puts her questions aside.

Jester stares at Beau as they gather their stuff. She stares as they walk to town. She stares as they get paid. She stares as they arrange rooms, only pausing to demand she room with Beau. She stares as they walk up the stairs. She stares as Beau closes the door and nervously turns to face her.

It’s very unnerving to be stared at and not know why, Beau finds. Her father stared but she generally knew why. Caleb stares but she can guess his reasons.

Eventually she says, “... Hi?”

Jester slaps her then hugs her so hard her ribs creak and Beau’s too confused to respond in any way.

“Don’t do that!” Jester says into Beau’s shoulder. “Don’t just- just throw your life away like that! I don’t want you to go, Beau, I need you to stay with me and it hurts so _much_ when you just give yourself away like that!”

“Uh,” Beau says, because she’s intelligent. “You were dead, though? What’s happening?”

“Yeah I was dead, so I get a free pass to be mad at you for almost dying too!” Jester pulls away to stare Beau down, frowning and crying and fierce with something Beau can’t name. “You could’ve revived me without doing that! There- we had the diamond! And Caduceus! What do you think would’ve happened if you actually died because of that, huh? How do you think I would’ve felt?”

Beau’s left a little speechless at that, remembering the morning Molly died in her place. “I just… I needed you to be okay, Jessie. I didn’t know… I don’t have a lot to offer and my word choice is usually shit, I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You could’ve just confessed you were secretly in love with me,” Jester huffs. “It would’ve been super romantic, y’know, true loves kiss bringing the damsel back to life. I’ve definitely read that in a book.”

That sentence gums up Beau’s whole brain process, sticking to every crevice and seeping down into her chest cavity to cling to every rib, warm and heavy. For some fucking reason she says, “Was it a good book?”

Jester pinches her eyes shut, says, “Oh for-” and smashes their lips together. Their teeth clack and Beau’s nose bruises against Jester’s cheek, her head bangs against the wall. But Jester’s there, _kissing her_ , alive, and Beau can almost feel her heartbeat through her lips.

Jester pulls away, blushing purple up to her ears. “That wasn’t very good, huh?” she says, embarrassed. 

“I mean, first kisses are always wonky,” Beau says. Then she can practically hear her brain kick back into motion. “Wait, true love's- What about you and Fjord, weren’t you-” she makes some random gesture with her hands, which are shaking rather hard, because her body is alight and weightless and her heart is going through a panic attack. 

“You’re kind of a fucking idiot, Beau,” Jester says, all fondness and exasperation, and she kisses Beau again, briefly. “Yeah, I was secretly in love with you too, but I’d rather it not be secret anymore. So! Come sit with me on the bed and tell me _alllll_ about how much you love me!”

Beau lets Jester pull her along, since she’s too dazed and happy to do much on her own. A chuckling voice, like a tickle along the shell of her ear, whispers to her, “And they lived happily ever after, at least for tonight.”


End file.
